Where's my Shannon Carlson?

I don't want to turn this blog into an endless list of personal irritants. I'm generally going to do that only if I can find something a little larger to say about whatever it is that bothers me. For example, I think there is a larger point to be made about the unending decline in customer service, something about consumer focus on price, or lack of employee pride in work that isn't sufficiently "cool." But I want to find some useful hook into a subject before I'll write about it (though I reserve the right to lower the bar on the preceding terms "larger" and "useful" as the pressure of daily blogging grows).

Having said all that, I'm going to rant about a current TV commercial that's getting heavy play. It's the US Cellular spot in which an earnest young woman (shot off-center in that so cool five years ago style; I think it's supposed to engender trust by making us think that it's her boyfriend fraing the shot ineptly, so what she's saying must be from the heart) tells us that she was worried about leaving her dad and going off to college. Why? Apparently, Dad is illiterate and can't figure out how to pay his bills or, actually, to read any of the rest of his mail.

But there's a happy ending. Dad took his bill down to his local US Cellular store, and Shannon Carlson (and the actress says this name almost reverently, as if intoning some holy incantation) took the time to help him. Now Dad takes all his mail down to Shannon, who reads it to him in those moments she's not pushing overpriced phone service plans. The ad finishes with the daughter, even more off-center, looking at us sincerely and saying, "Thanks, Shannon."

I did a Google search to see if others had commented on this commercial; not surprisingly, I found several. What did surprise me was the number of bloggers who focused on the illiteracy in a harsh way, making fun of the father figure and criticizing the daughter for handling his mail for 18 years instead of teaching Dad to read. (I'll mostly withhold comment on the few bloggers who took this as a real story instead of advertising creativity; maybe it is based on a real letter to the execs at US Cell, but I wouldn't bet on it.)

I was surprised mainly because I grew up with TV movies that dealt with the problem of illiteracy, and they were immensely sympathetic. They all went something like, a middle-aged fellow is in an office where he has to fill out a form/has a chance at a promotion/has the opportunity to receive some money, he's strangely resistant, the attractive not-quite middle-aged woman sees his struggle and is confused but takes an interest in the reticent man, and after 45-60 minutes comes the dramatic scene where the man breaks down and admits, "I can't read." The woman teaches him how, he fills out the form (or surmounts whatever challenge there is), they fall in love, the redemption is complete, and we are all happy. I seem to recall movies like this with Dennis Weaver and Johnny Cash (though I'm not going to spend the time on IMDb to figure that out), and there were likely others as well.

Is the lack of sympathy for this gentleman's plight prevalent? Are there really massive numbers of people out there who are hard-hearted toward the illiterate? Maybe it's time for a new movie, updated for the 21st century, in which Patrick (Grey's Anatomy) Dempsey plays a man desperate to create a MySpace page, but he can't navigate his way through the simple instructions. The librarian, played by Ali (Heroes) Larter takes an interest, but can't understand why he can't slap down a background, upload a picture and some music, and (most importantly to her) fill out the box that says he's straight. 45-60 minutes in, in a scene underscored by swelling violins, Patrick turns to Ali and admits, "I can't read, or computer neither." You can write the rest.

So I'm not quite so bothered by the illiteracy angle, though it is hard to see how the target audience will identify with this family. What bothers me is that this is another in a long series of commercials in which a company tries to convince us that its customer service is above and beyond. Invariably, some front line sales clerk moves heaven and earth to satisfy the customer (Bob takes the dogsled through three feet of snow to make sure little Billy will have that bicycle under the tree).

The problem is that this level of service is unrealized in the real world. The CEO and Marketing Director look at the commercial prototype, want to believe that this is how their company is perceived, and sign off on the ad campaign. What they don't do is improve wages or working conditions for actual "sales associates." I'm betting that the real Shannon Carlson, whiling away her days reading Dad's mail to him, helping him with his bills, will lose her job once her anemic sales figures come in. I know she won't be getting a bonus, because I guarantee you US Cellular's incentive bonus plan has no category for "reading mail to customers."

The real customer, while not necessarily needing help with mail, will walk into a store and expect something more than minimal energy and competence. When that is what he gets, the gulf between expectation and reality will seem that much more vast, and that's how you harden customers against your brand.