Oh, poo

I have long joked around the house (past the point of tedium - a note from the wife) that the Oprah-loving press was likely to report on her bathroom habits at some point, so desperate are they for "news" about the queen of all she touches.

[I don't know how things are in other cities, but, in Chicago, Oprah's every move is fodder for stories. What's funny about that is, similar to Michael Jordan, one never gets a real sense of Oprah as Chicagoan. Her major residence is a $50 million mansion in Montecito, California, and she is not seen at major events in the area. Even her studio is somewhat set off from mainline Chicago. Nevertheless, she is embraced as one of "Chicago's Own," but it seems to come more from gratitude that she is willing to grace us with her presence, which is a pretty pathetic posture for a major city.]

So the major story about Barack Obama's Grant Park speech on Election Night was, obviously, Obama himself, but, running a close second, was, "Oprah was there!" And we all presumably got caught up in "Who was that guy Oprah was crying on?"

But I never really expected, not in my wildest dreams, to see my joke given life. But, the new Chicago Tribune never fails to surprise:

Oprah Winfrey, who cried during the celebration in Grant Park, talked to "Extra" about the historic night and having to use the facilities.

"In all these years at every event, I've said, 'No, no, no.' I'm not going to do the Port-A-Potty ... but tonight, I said I better use" it, she said.

I'm glad we got to the bottom of that important issue, that we wiped away ignorance concerning Oprah's excretory habits...(oh, I've got more, but I'll let the third-graders at your house pick up the baton). So what is left for me to joke about? Obama wins, and I lose.